It may be the last time
by tater-tot-123
Summary: Its one of the last suppers that Shepard may have with her fellow crew members. R&R! rated m for language and sexual themes (set in ME1)
1. Chapter 1

Shepard sat at the head of the table in the mess hall as everyone sat on either sides ready for dinner.

"What ancestor do i have to pray to for some grub around here!" Wrex shouted slamming his fists on the table causing it to tremble.

"Clam yourself Wrex," Shepard half laughed as she took a sip of whiskey (yes, it was one of those days).

"Dinner will be right up," The chef said walking by with a large bucket of tonight's dinner. He walked by and slopped down a pile of a mushy gruel on everyone's plate.

"What the- What the fuck is this?" Wrex shouted.

"Keelah! what is this? Is this edible?" Tali proclaimed poking at the lump on her plate.

Garrus lifted a fork full and examined it carefully, "Shepard you can't be serious?"

"It's all we have left after i technically stole the Normandy," She took another sip of whiskey.

"It really isn't that bad," Liara said stuffing her face, "Quite delicious actually."

"Of course the Asari would think so, but i am a Korgan i need meat! This isn't even fit to satisfy a Hanar!" Wrex shouted again.

"Well you could use a diet," Kaidan snickered.

"Shut it human," Wrex growled turning to Kaidan. Then something flew across the table and slammed onto the side of his face. "Who threw that?" Wrex shouted.

"Wasn't me," Tali quickly proclaimed.

"It was the turrian," Liara whispered.

"What? You are so willing to blame it on the turrian." Garrus said with his head held high.

The Wrex grabbed a handful of his gruel and threw it at Garrus splattering it all over him. Garrus sat there for a little while while everyone laughed and he wiped it off his face, then threw it at Tali.

She gasped and even thought her protective mask, Shepard could see her angry blossom, "I can not believe you just did that," And she grabbed her gruel and threw it at Garrus who ducked and it landed on Liara.

"Okay enough enough everyone, lets just simmer down and eat," Shepard laughed as she began to eat the bland meal. Everyone soon relaxed and began to chat. Wrex talked about how he planned to rule over his own tribe one day, and Liara spoke about she studies. Garrus regaled them about his tales in the Academy and Tali talked about her father. Shepard stayed silent for most of the time, unless someone made a joke she made sure to laugh when necessary. Then she looked up and saw a empty chair at the end of the table, over by Kaidan. It was Ashley's chair and it had been empty for sometime. Shepard felt her eyes gloss when remembering the last conversation she had with her.

"I'm sorry Ash..."

"It's alright Commander, I understand,"

That was the worst part for Shepard, that she understood. She understood that she was left to die while everyone else fled, she understood that she had to be blown to bits in the name of the greater good, she understood why Shepard didn't picker her. It was because, because... she didn't let herself think any further. She felt her eyes water and a single tear trailed down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with out anyone noticing. She stood up quickly and all eyes were on her.

"I'm going to retire for the night." Shepard said nodding her head to everyone.

"Oh so soon?" Liara pouted.

"The night is still young Commander," Garrus said lifting his glass.

"It's technically always night time in space," Tali pointed out.

"That's not that point," Garrus began, "You could use a break anyways,"

"That's what sleeping if for," Shepard replied with a cocky smile, "I will see you all in 0600 hours okay?"

"0600?" Wrex asked astonished.

"Yeah, 0600, on the dot, got it?" Shepard dictated.

Wrex folded his arms across his chest and agreed reluctantly.

"That's what i like to see," She smile but once she turned around she quickly frowned. She walked casually over to her cabin as a few people walked by a saluted her and she dismissed them casually. She soon reached the door to her cabin and it slid open she she was two steps away and she walking in casually. Once the door behind her slid shut she felt her knees go weak, she grabbed the desk close by for support and kept replaying what Ash told her.

"It's alright Commander, i understand,"

She could see every way Ash could have died, she shot herself, Geth shot her to death, she bled to death, she was obliterated by the nuclear bomb, and it kept going. She may have had tried to find cover, she may have fought till the end, could have just cried, she could have damned Shepard to hell or she just sat there quietly waiting for her untimely death. Shepard felt her knees completely gave out and she fell to the ground sobbing.

"God fucking damn it!" She screamed as she biotics started to flare. The little blue sparks filled the room and he hand began to glow. In a fit of rage she jumped up and punches the closest wall and left a noticeable dent. Then the door behind her swooshed open, she had forgotten to lock the door.

"Shepard?" Some one asked behind her.

"You refer to me as Commander, Lieutenant" Shepard hissed walking over to her desk.

"Wait, what? Why?" Kaidan asked as he walked over to her desk. She could tell he was hurt by her words with out even looking at him, she could hear it in his voice. Just with his tone she could tell that his brows were now knitted together and the stress lines appeared on his forehead,

"Because I am your commanding officer, and you do as I command and you will address me the way I tell you to address me."

He grabbed her arm just before she sat down, "Are you okay Shepard, I know you were crying at dinner, I saw you."

"Let go of me Lieutenant," Shepard said trying to jerk away from him.

"No, tell me what's wrong, what happened at dinner?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you," She spat out at him.

They looked at each other for a long time, deep into each other eyes, his whiskey colored eyes that shimmered with something she couldn't understand.

"Lieutenant I am no going to ask you again, let, me, go." Shepard warned one last time.

She could feel her biotics begin to flare then the room sparked with flashing blue lights. With her free hand she concentrated all her biotics and threw it at him. He knew it was coming but he let it happened, he let the biotic burst collide with him and launched him across the room.

"Is this about Ash?" He asked ad he spat blood.

"No," Shepard quickly replied.

_"It's alright Commander, I understand."_

"Then why did you start crying when you looked over to her chair?" Kaidan said stumbling to his feet.

"Quite Lieutenant, and that's an order,"

"It's okay Shepard…" Kaidan said limping toward her.

"Don't call me that," She said backing up with every step he took toward her.

"Shepard,"

"Fine!" She shouted, "You know why I feel like complete shit? Because I picked you over Ash, not because you were the better solider or because I needed you for the bomb, no I picked you because I loved you!"

Kaidan stayed silent.

"That's right, I was emotionally compromised and picked you because I love you, and Ash died because of it."

"Shepard," Kaidan said reaching out to her.

"Don't touch me Kaidan, or I swear to the creator I will…" Shepard said not finishing her warning.

He walked up to her and placed him hand up behind her neck sweeping back her bobbed red locks away from her face. He pulled her close locking her in a warm embrace. She tried to fight it; she began to punch his chest to get enough room between them so she could break free.

"I love you too," He whispered into her hair.

Her punches started to weaken and she placed her hands on his chest and began to cry. He could feel her tears dampen his jump suit and he began to rub her back. Once her tears slowly stopped he looked up at him, green eyes now more vibrant because of the red that surrounded them. She placed one hand against one side of his face as his five o clock shadow scratched her skin. He could see her lips slowly parting and she warm breathe brush against his lips.

"Ophelia," He whispered he name, her first name. It sounded odd coming out of his mouth like an unknown alien language.

"I hate it when people call me that, you know that," She smiled. He knew she never liked that she was named after a woman who became crazed with love, but he thought it was a beautiful name.

"It might be the last chance i ever get to call you that," He replied, then there was a long silence between the two.

"It's been a pleasure serving under you Commander," He whispered moving his lips closer to hers.

"You haven't technically, severed under me Kaidan," She whispered slowly pressing her lips to his.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaidan slammed Shepard up against the wall with enough force to knocking the wind right out of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hoisted herself up wrapping her legs up around him. He pressed her up against the wall again pushing their bodies closer. She could feel his hard body compressing down on her as he held her up from her legs as his hot lips traced her collar bone.

"Commander, we will be passing through the relay in two hours," Joker's static voice said from the speaker above.

"Okay, I'm going to take a nap, so disruptions," Shepard said breathlessly. If she knew how heavy her voice was with lust she wouldn't have replied but i was too late.

"Okay, Joker out... Oh and Kaidan, have fun," Joker laughed as he signed out.

They both paused for a small amount of time then they started to laugh.

"Are we going to have 'i love you' sex against a wall?" Shepard asked with a slight smirk.

"All you had to do was ask," He whispered sensually in her ear. He walked over to the bed and set her down gently and he stood over her. He rolled down his jump suit just under his hips and crawled on top of her. He unzipped her jump suit and rolled it completely off her body dragging his teeth over the new exposed milky skin. She could feel shivers running through her body as she ran her fingers through his curly hair. His biotics started spark on his hands as he ran them down her thighs grabbing at her trying to pull her closer. She arch her back to him moaning out his name. He lifted her up and dropped down to his knees and unstrapped her bra and flinging it across the room. He moved in between her legs and was now at eye level with her breast. He ran his hands painfully slow up her body not looking away from her eyes. Once once of his hands made it on her breast he squeezed it slightly causing her to let out a slight gasp. He brushed his lips just barely against hers just lightly taking in her breath. Then he trusted her back down on the bed. He hooked his finger into her panties and slipped them off kissing trails down from her inner thigh to her knee.

"I dont like a tease Kaidan." He could tell she was smiling even thou he couldn't see her face.

He crawled up her body again and stop just at her ear and placed one hand just over her sex cause her to take in a swift breath of air. He dropped on finger into her warm wet folds and let out a low chuckle, "It seems you do actually." He said lightly biting down on her neck and moving his index finger inside her, while his thumb circled her clit. Shepard bit down hard on her lip trying not to give him the sanctification as he slipped his middle finger in too. She back arched again as a wave of biotics shot through her body giving him goosebumps. Her breath coming in short pants now as she grabbed two hand fulls of the bed sheets beneath her.

"Kaidan no more, I want you now," Shepard demanded.

"You have to beg for it." He laughed.

"Fuck you."

"You will," He said sliding his fingers out slowly.

He stood over her again and rolled down the rest of his jump suit and pulled her up higher on the bed. She could feel him just at her entrance and she tried to lower herself but he stopped her. He wrapped one of her legs around his body and just pressed himself at her entrance but did not move any further.

"Don't stop," Shepard pleaded.

"Beg for it, say you need this more thank anything."

He was right she did, at that very second she did need this more than anything, she hadn't wanted anything more. "Please, i... i need this."

"Im waiting." He said pushing a little further then out.

"I need this more than anything." She breathed.

And after that admission Kaidan thrust fulling into. Her back arched up against him as she clawed into his back leaving raw marks. He didn't wait to long for her to adjust before he began his assault on her body. She thought it would be delicate and at a slow pace when she imagined being with Kaidan, but the was far more passionate that she had depicted. He wold thrust into her just enough so the next thrust would penetrate her deeper into the bed. She felt her walls start to clench around his member, with one big push she pushed him onto his back and sat upon him. She clawed down his chest with just enough pressure to cause pleasurable pain with blue sparks trailing her fingers. She began to rock against him slow at first, but then the tension within her began to build up again. Kaidan began to cuss under his breath with every thrust trying to keep his composer. Pushing herself to her climax, she lowered herself down to him and kissed him hungrily. Once she road out the last waves of her climax he rolled her back on her back and pushed himself over his peak plunging deep into her womb and then finally releasing himself. He flopped over to his side next to her as they both were gasping.

"Damn the creator Alenkio, where did that come from?" Shepard asked while trying to catch her breath.

"I have no idea." He laughed.

"Well, we have another hour," She said turning over to her side to look over at him, "We can try to figure out what came over you," She said running her fingers over the thin sheet of sweat over his body.

"Well i think you came over me, literally" He said smiling.


End file.
